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7月2日

Social Networking Wars

 
  
 
6月26日

Horse in the well

 
    
 
 
"One day a farmer's horse fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the horse.
 
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the horse realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.
 
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the horse was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
 
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the horse stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!
 
Moral: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping-stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!"
 
And while you are waiting for to rise above, you can curse like this:
 
1. May all your teeth fall out except for the one with the toothache!

2. May your daughter's hair grow thick and abundant, all over her face!

3. May onions grow in your navel!

4. May the IRS disallow all your deductions!

5. May you have an interesting and exotic vacation, in Haiti!

6. May the Easter Bunny leave you rotten eggs and jellied green beans!

7. May you be given a lump of coal for Christmas!

8. May all of Santa's reindeer get the shits on your roof!

9. May you be stricken with epilepsy while having open heart surgery!

10. May you be ticketed for driving 56 on the Interstate highway!

11. May you be described in the paper as an "alleged child molester."

12. May you swallow a fishbone whilst eating sushi!

13. May all the BBSs deny you access forevermore!

14. May you try your luck at roller skating, while descending the stairs!

15. May a mean surgeon sew up your asshole!

16. May your boat capsize in the middle of the lake, and may your mother attract to attention as she runs up and down the shore, barking.

17. May the fleas of a thousand dead camels infest one of your errogenous zones.

18. May you turn into a chandelier, and hang all day and burn all night!

19. May the desert winds blow a pissed off scorpion up your undershorts.
 
If you quitted smoking,
no matter what happens,
don't smoke again!
 
5月20日

Let's go crazy!

 
You know what, madness begins like this.  Then you
can find yourself like in the last picture on this post. 
Not bad, maybe it is one way to survive sometimes...
So, love the mad, love your madness!
 
 
 
Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night's sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different.

A few weeks later, Joe's former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful. "Doc!" Joe says, "It's amazing! I'm cured!"

"That's great news!" the psychoanalyst says. "you seem to be doing much better. How?"

"I went to see another doctor," Joe says enthusiastically, "and he cured me in just ONE session!"

"One?!" the psychoanalyst asks incredulously.

"Yeah," continues Joe, "my new doctor is a behaviorist."

"A behaviorist?" the psychoanalyst asks. "How did he cure you in one session?"

"Oh, easy," says Joe. "He told me to cut the legs off of my bed."
 
 
A distraught man goes to see a psychologist. "How may I help you?" the doctor asks. Doc, every night, I have the same dream. I am lying in bed and a dozen women walkin and try to rip my clothes off and have wild sex with me. And then what do you do? the shrink asks. I push them away, the man says. Then what do you want me to do? the shrink asks. Break my arms!
 
 
I am Napoleon Bonaparte
 
Late one night at the insane asylum one patient shouted, "I am Napoleon Bonaparte!"
 
Another asked him, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me."
 
A voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!"
 
 
 
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"

Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"

The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"
Hmm," says the Doctor.

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."
 
 
 
 
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 OR...
 
 
4月15日

Sleeping Positions of Couples

 
 Loosely tethered Sleeping Style
 
This is a variation of the Spoon - the most common position adopted by couples in the first few years of marriage. Comforting and cocoon-like, it's a semi-foetal position with genitals against buttocks to provide maximum physical closeness, though it's not necessarily an erotic position. The man is usually the embracer. Few years later, couples feel secure enough to allow space - and comfort - into their bed. Often, they sleep tethered, like Spoons but with distance between them. The emotional current is sustained by a touching hand, knee or foot. This "affectionate" position seems to diminish the pressure for sex.
 
 
 
The Honeymoon Hug
 

"This face-to-face, body-ensconced-by-body position is often termed the "Rolls Royce of intimacy". Less common than the Spoon (and uncomfortable to maintain throughout the night), the Honeymoon Hug is a natural position that many couples slip into just after lovemaking. It's quite common at "love's blazing beginning", when you're so deeply enamoured that you wish you could "fuse". Some couples return to it over the years, during periods of special joy. Among those who stick to it, the partner who tends to initiate it could be overly dependent on the other. If both do, they could be "overly enmeshed".

 

The Royal Position

"When one partner (typically the man) lies face up in what's known as The Royal Position, it indicates a strong ego and a sense of entitlement. The woman's head on his shoulder suggests that she is the more dependent and compliant one - almost as though she is "looking at the world from his perspective". This position reflects a high level of trust and strong commitment. Women who are uncomfortable but want the coziness of proximity can try the reverse: Lie face down, with your body overlapping your partner's. Psychologically, this represents an attempt to focus total attention on your partner, even in sleep."

 

  
The Leg Hug
 

"Some couples aren't comfortable establishing physical contact at the onset. They would rather  go about it as if it were almost by chance - their toes or feet "accidentally" touch, or one partner's leg is casually thrown over the others. Although such casual contact could imply that you or your partner are in two minds about expressing affection, or are intentionally withholding it - maybe after a fight - it may also indicate healthy camaraderie. Hooked legs could also suggest familiarity and comfort - almost like a "secret code". After all, you need to have a pretty strong foundation to assume such "physical proprietorship" even after a quarrel or argument."

 
Zen Style
 

"With the passage of time in a marriage, as the couple's closeness becomes fully established and less exploratory, a renewed sense of each partner's individuality is likely to arise. For some couples, it would translate into a need for space and therefore, a larger bed. Other couples find a compromise in the above position: Touching buttocks allows for large-surface contact and private connection, but without clinging. Like two circles, separate but overlapping, this position is a perfect definition of interdependence. It's a good position to adopt when your kids have got the better of the couple with their constant clinging, and they need a sense of their own space."

 
 
 
The Cliffhanger
 

"When one partner suddenly retreats to the far side of the bed, the other should ascertain what's behind the sudden withdrawal rather than worry or fume about the "rejection". If he/she is going through a trying time, give him/her space - you'd want the same. In time, your partner will roll back. The person who veers toward The Cliffhanger could also indicate that he/she is comfortable enough to admit that a good night's sleep is better than cuddling up together (and having to put with snoring or teeth-grinding!)  If distance leaves you lonely, suggest that you at least start the night in close proximity. If you still sense distance, it may be time to have a heart-to-heart talk."

 

 

 

 Woman depends on man sleeping style
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Trust each other sleeping style
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Sayang & usually old man & young woman sleeping style
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Man wants to leave a woman sleeping style
 
 
 
 

2月11日

Make a jam sandwich !!

 
I found a very nice site. I enjoyed it very much and wanted to share with you. You can find very interesting stuffs on that site like this:
 
   
 
1月24日

Wife tries to seduce husband

 
  
Wife Tries to Seduce Husband - Funny Cartoon - A funny movie is a click away
 
1月10日

Happy Weekend!!

 
     
 
12月9日

Let's have fun a little!!


   

  

  
 
11月30日

Happy Sunday!!

 
     
11月2日

After Halloween, some pictures:

 
 
 fft22_mf64333 fft22_mf64335 fft22_mf64336 fft22_mf64337 fft22_mf64339 fft22_mf64344 fft22_mf64345 fft22_mf64350 fft22_mf64325 fft22_mf64330 fft22_mf64332
 
10月27日

BOOO!!!!!!

 
 BlackCat02Kopyası y1pbsR-prRqWP76ECQNFfr0ePyzefykE4xOOtyARP0x8zXuLRL-RzCJzRLpXAfAYQ4W Buuu!!
 
babyllama-small  ghost-small morecowbell-small blackcat-small bat-small
 
blinkiethepony-small rubberduckiered-small rubberduckie-small jellybeansbitten-small lolly-small
 
spikedcollar-small voodoo-small whip-small handcuffs-small finger-small grannypanties-small
Who put that pink pants here?! It is sooo scary!
 
signkickme-small signbanme-small signtrollme-small ..... I will hide my ass!
                                                                                            http://www.hidemyass.com/
 
 
trlmd A gift for ya! 
 
 
 
bubbly-small coffee-small greendrink-small hotchocofancy-small hotchocolate-small darkliquid-small greenteaboba-small tea-small
 
 
One sweet pumpkin: PUMPKIN DESSERT
 
kabak tatlısı DSCN1090
 
INGREDIENTS: Pumpkin / granulated sugar / 4-5 cloves / crushed walnuts / clotted cream.
The ratio of pumpkin is 1 to 1/2.
Maybe you can use 3 cups of squash and 1 1/2 cups of sugar
 
1) Peel the pumpkin, cut it into big chunks, and put in a pot.
 
2) Put sugar on and let it sit over night. It will release water, so you don't need to add water when you're cooking it.
 
3) The next day, add 4-5 cloves into the pot and cook on medium until the pumpkin is soft, approximately 30 minutes.
 
4) Then let it cool and garnish with walnuts ar grated coconut. (I love it with cream and walnut.)
 
 
apple-small candycorn-small chickensoup-small chocolatecupcake-small curry-small pumpkinpie-small vanillacupcake-small chocolatecone-small
 
 
And one HOT Pumpkin: 
 
Caudronspiderweb6
 
 
I don't know the name of this recipe. I had heard that from a Circassian friend years ago. I will name it: Circassian Pumpkin. I didn't cook it for years. These are some busy days, so I couldn't cook and take a picture about it. If you try it please take some pictures and blog it. Maybe I will do too, later. Actually, this is a very delicious recipe, you will not be able to believe how delicious!
 
CIRCASSIAN PUMPKIN:
 
INGREDIENTS: Pumpkin / 2-3 big onions chopped / 3-5 Green peppers, chopped / Olive oil / Tomato sauce / Crushed paprika / Black pepper / One bunch dill, chopped / One bunch parsley, chopped / Salt / Yogurt.
 
1) Peel and cut the pumpkin like dices. It is not too easy though, so give the knife to your lazy pumpkin to cut them.
 
2) Fry the onions and green peppers with olive oil.
 
3) Add tomato sauce, crushed paprika and black pepper; mix them.
 
4) Add pumpkin dices.
 
5) Add salt.
 
6) Cook at low heat, mix every now and then.
 
7) Never add water!
 
8) After put out the fire, add chopped dill and parsley and mix.
 
9) Then let it cool. (You may eat hot too.)
 
10) It is very delicious with yogurt. Add a few spoons yogurt to your plate. Bon appetit!!
    
WitchesBroom bat1
 
 evilpumpkin
 
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
 
10月10日

Paris Hilton gets president...

 
 
 
9月26日

A real news, not asparagas:

 
DRIVER ARRESTED AFTER FARTING ON POLICE OFFICER:
 
"A man has been banged up for farting on a police officer after being arrested for drink driving. Jose Cruz was stopped by police for driving under the influence of alcohol in South Charleston, USA. But when he was taken to the police station to have his fingerprints taken, police say he moved closer to the officer and passed gas on him. (Wednesday, September 24, 2008)."
 
 
WEIRD FACT OF THE DAY (that you probably didn't know):
 
"Get a sheet of paper, any size, and see how many times you can fold it in half. Bet you can't get past 7 times. That's because it's almost impossible to fold a piece of paper in half more than 7 times-no matter how big it is. We've tried it a few times, and after using different sized sheets, we finally managed 7 folds with a sheet of newspaper. It's to do with the thickness of the paper each time it is folded, you see. The paper gets denser and denser every time until it becomes practically impossible to continue. The paper folding theory is one that has eluded many for years. Some have even done scientific equations about why this happens. Too much time on their hands, we say."
 
 
TODAY'S PICTURE:
 
 
9月8日

Too bad, it's Monday...

 
  hz1af49f0c63095_myspace FARKLIIIIIIIIIIIIII
 
 
rainy_monday_thoughts_poster_print-p228514736805636875ws_210 spckad
 
 
A MONDAY MORNING
 
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears!
BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER...

FASTER...

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.

Clappity-BUMP...

Clappity-BUMP...

Clappity-BUMP... on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding his head is reeling his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and,

(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The coffin stops.............................. Muahahaha!!
 
 
 
      
watch more at aniBoom
 Hey Martin, whot'z up?
7月18日

Want some popcorn?..

 
    
 
7月1日

Boing boing!

 
When you go to a restaurant, you look at the menu first to decide what you will eat. You take the menu and begin to read some delicious items. But, boing boing, what is that, did you hear the footsteps of the bugs? Boing boing... Still going on! The viruses and bacteriums are dancing on your hands, lol... Ouch, you put the menu on your plates, but boing boing, they began to dance on your plate. Ah, just that moment the menu touched your silverware, boing, boing, boing, boing!!!!! Well, okay, you will not touch the menu to your plate and silverware and wash your hands after read it... Okay, good. Now you opened the door of the bathroom, boing, boing... washed your hands, palmed a spare paper towel, then used it to grab the handle. Lol, try to avoid somebody's eyes that moment.
 
Yes, I am thinking so many times like that way. But I have two sides as always and one of my side is very clean, the other one also boing boing! So I can eat everything even they are boing boing sometimes.
 
How boing are you lately?.. And what kind of flower you are?
 

I am a
Canada Thistle

What Flower
Are You?

 "You are a mean spirited, ornery cuss. People try to get rid of you and you just keep coming back."