Zeynep Ankara: Zeynep Ankara's daily

HimynameisZeynepandIamasmoker!

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 18:26:45 GMT

Yes, I love smoking. When I lighted up, I take a deep breath first, then I whiff with a great joy. And it goes all day long... not. Let's stop here a little. It was, I was a hard smoker and I used to smoke about 30 cigarettes in a day. But not now. Now I have usually 7 cigarettes in a day. It maybe 6, maybe 8 sometimes. So, I am not a hard smoker anymore. Some friends are talking about quitting completely. I quitted smoking a few times in past. I can quit easily, I have not a problem about it. I decide in one moment and it can go for months. I didn't smoke one or two years once. I can quit easily but I can start easily too. So, I wanted to do something different this time. Firstable, I noted my habit routine. Let's see what was that:

* Early in the morning, while I was reading the news on the net. > 1 or two cigarettes.

* While I was preparing my breakfast. > 1 cigarette.

* After breakfast. > 1 cigarette.

* While I was pulling my eyebrows. > 1 or two cigarettes.

* While I was painting my face. > 1 cigarette.

* Before counselings. > About 3 cigarettes.

* After counselings. > About 3 cigarettes.

* While shopping (on the road). > 1 cigarette.

* While writing something. > About 5 cigarettes.

* While having a cup of coffee. > 1 cigarette.

* While I was having my cold beer or a glass of wine before dinner. > About 3 cigarettes.

* After dinner. > 1 cigarette.

* While watching TV. > 4-5 cigarettes.

* Before shower. > 1 cigarette.

* While shower. > ooops... it could be but not. Lol.

* After shower. > 1 cigarette.

* Before go to bed. > 1 cigarette.

All these are more than one pocket of cigarette already. I just broke this pattern first. I gave up about all that habit routine. If you want something badly, all universe coordinates to help you, but it is not like that for me, lol. If I want to do a nice thing, all universe coordinate not to help me. Because I am cursed, lol. But don't worry, I am accussomed about it. Anyways, people didn't cheer me always. They turned into a zombie sometimes. Yes. It was the first cutting back day. My landlord (killer)'s brother came to get the rent money. I felt something weird about his attitude but I ignored it. After signing the contract and having the money, he said: "When will you move out of our house?" I said: "You are not the person adressed about it. The person who can say me that is your big brother." I came in and slammed the door. The first thing that I looked at was the cigarette pocket. I marched up and down a little, about 5 minutes after, the telephone rang. It was the Killer (He is a vet and he is calling himself like that). He said "Hello", anyway. I replied nervous. He didn't mention about that moving thing. There was a bank issue, we talked about that a little, that was all. Then I played solitare a little to come back to earth, lol.

Maybe some space friends remember, there was a music trouble in the building all night long. What was a weird thing, all night long! There were so many probabilities about it in my mind:

* The man is deaf.

* Somebody died inside.

* The man won a big money from the lottary and he is saving it in his flat. The music also against the thieves.

* Somebody is torturing someone.

* They are torturing me.

The latest item blinded me, lol, and I decided to talk to that neighbour. The man inched open the door. I said: "Why you are listening to music all night long? I can't sleep for months." He answered: "It is against the thieves." He was looking at some of my body parts and I elevated my voice: "Against the thieves?! You must find an other way about that!" The man slammed the door, I stayed there like a b*stard child, lol. I grumbled a little more while I was going out. That night, there just was just a little music. After then, the man stopped to listen to music at nights. The first silent night, I couldn't sleep well still. Because I was waking up and listening to the air frequently. I was thinking "Hım, nice, there is no music, ah great, there is no music", lol... A few nights was great, I slept very well, what was a happiness! But... now another thing is messing my nights. I am waking up with a water noise from the next building anymore, just behind my head, hahahaha!!! I don't know the time but it is after midnight usually. I think a tap can't resist the pressure of the city's water after midnight. I am trying to sleep again. And I am waking up with a very clean brain in the mornings, lol. I don't know when will they fix it. But if a tap is running all night long, why they don't fix it soon? Just a question.

I just had a funny thing yesterday. I could smoke but I didn't. I needed a LPG cylinder, so I called the shop. It was a different guy on the phone. He was talking like a gay. I asked for the discount rate, because I had read something about that on the newspapers. He said "Did you read it on the New York magazines?" I paused: "What do you mean?" He spent a lot of words, argued round and round the subject, finally I said: "Okay okay, please send my cylinder soon, I will go out." The man didn't like my voice I think. Because the worker who brings the cylinder was just like a lemon seller, lol. So I gave just a little tip...

When a seller insulted me, no, I didn't smoke on the road. When I bored, no, I didn't smoke at home. I can say so many things to cause a cigarette. But, no, all these funny things didn't cause it. I just looked at the cigarette pocket nervously, that's all. Yes, yes, it was not difficult. But there is just one thing in my mind. After my decision, I did some shopping. As you see in the following picture, I got some chocolates, cakes, cookies, some salty things, fruits (pornegranates), some junky things I mean. But while I come back to home, I saw a shopwindow for fat people. I took a picture to look at it sometimes. Because I hope I don't get fat soon in this way. I don't want to turn into an e*ephant, lol, lol...

Yes, the candies are very delightful while I am working on computer, as you see in the following picture. Maybe you will see a covering on the computer too. Some of my space friends will remember my leaking trouble for 7 months. My computer had broken about it. So I am always covering the computer after that day on. There is a saying: "Fear waits for the mountains." I don't know maybe it doesn't make sense for you. What about this: "If you hurt about the hot milk, you will eat the yogurt while puffing. Anyways. Now I will tell you, how a nice thing to cutting back:

* There is more money in my pocket anymore.

* I don't use so much candles and sticks.

* I am relieved a little about my back trouble. I didn't know that the smoke was giving heaviness on my back that much, lol.

* The ashtrays are not getting dirty frequently as before. And they are not taking too much place in the dish washer.

* Yes, I feel healtier.

Oh, I forgat how I smoke about 7 cigarettes in a day now. I never smoke before the breakfasts. After breakfast, I am brushing my teeth, then I am lighting up. While this first cigarette of the day, I do nothing, I am just smoking. Because I am a smoker, lol. After this first cigarette, I never smoke before 2 hours. I can smoke after two hours. Then, after two hours the next cigarette and so on. This is my new routine about smoking. The key is, break the routine, then build a new routine.

As you know, I like to cook some simple things. There was a little cold chicken from yesterday. By the way, I had boiled chicken and made potato salad last night. I cooked a nice wheat pilaf with chicken today. What about the salad? Guess what? It is Zeynep's leek salad. Simple and easy:

Zeynep's leek salad:

Ingredients: Leek / tomato / green pepper / Cucumber / parsley / Lemon juice / Olive oil / salt.

Cut the leek into tiny slices and crumble with salt. Then add water on it and wait one or two hours. Then filter it and add the rest of ingredients, then mix all of them. I had no cucumber in the refrigerator (actually, they were moldered), so maybe you will not see cucumber on the picture. But okay, it was still deligious.

There is nothing special for that wheat pilaf. There was some chicken boiled water and a little cold chicken from yesterday already. I boiled that water again, added a little black pepper and the chicken pieces, then wheats, that's all.

Okay then, thanku!!

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:31:23 GMT

So I will be able to post some You Tube videos on my space from now on... It was a busy day. I feel hungry, because you know, if you don't smoke so much, you feel hungry always. Anyways, now I will give a nice hamburger party for me. I have hamburger breads and meatballs anyway. I just already had my ice cold beer too, everything is okay. Then I will watch some TV. Prison Break is a little boring this season but okay, the guys are awesom!

I am leaving you with a nice thanksgiving turkey recipe. I will back to my friends tomorrow. Thanks for the feedbacks about the previous entry.

Love and peace as always, Bye for now. Hug. Ugh. xx

Test, test, test. Can you watch this video please?

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:30:43 GMT

I still can't watch YouTube videos in this area. I can watch them just via hidemyass. I could watch this video there though, but then when I posted it here, I can see just a blank white square now. Can you watch it please? The video is a random one, not a special choice. Still, hope you enjoy it.

The story of a day

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 16:56:36 GMT

Actually it was not a shopping day but I went out at noon and bought that nice tiny candles and note papers. That note papers are very important to me, now I will tell you why. As some of you know, I don't smoke too much as before. I used to smoke about 30 cigarettes in a day but now it is just 7 cigarettes. It can be maybe rarely 8 or 6. Not bad, it is okay with me... The cigarette papers were very useful for me. I used to cumulate them on the coffee table in my TV room and when some thoughts passed by from my mind, I used to write on that cigarette papers. Or sometimes, while I watch TV, I can note some English words too. It is a good learning. Now, I have not a lot of cigarette papers, so I got that note papers.

In the afternoon, I went in to the kitchen to prepare my dinner. It has a little story. A friend hired a cook recently. She is cooking some great things for my friend. So, she can have some more time to take care of her children and to rest. Yesterday, my friend brought me some meatballs. I actually knew that meatballs. Sometimes I buy them from some pastry shops. But anyway, as my friend's said, that meatballs were deadly delicious more than them... So, I put the meatballs into the boiling water with lemon juice today and began to wait their boil. Sometime, I heard some weezings outside. When the weezings were insistent, I looked at the kitchen window. There was a fire on the neighbour building and I just took some pictures:

A little later, some firemen came and put out the fire, crashed the window glasses (I don't know why), then went. While the fire dieing down, the LPG cylinder ended too in my kitchen, lol, so I put the saucepan on the electric part of the cooker. When meatballs cooked, they began to swim on the top of the water. My friend had said like that. I took them and put in a plate. Then, I smashed a few garlic and mixed with olive oil and added on the meatballs. Then I cut some parsley and added on the balls. I thought that the boiling water must be very delicious and "valuable". So I made a lentil soup with it.

Now I will give you a Stuffed Meatballs recipe. But it is a little different from my dinner:

Stuffed Meatballs:

Ingredients:

700 grams minced meat
300 grams fine bulgur (cracked wheat)
1 egg 50 grams crushed walnuts
20 grams pine nuts
20 grams currants
3 onions
20 grams margarine
220 grams vegetable oil
salt
pepper
1 teaspoon cummin
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 bunch parsley

1- Boil bulgur in plenty of water until soft. Drain and set aside.
2- Melt margarine and lightly brown chopped onions and pine nuts.
3- Add 350 grams of meat and saute until juices evaporate. Remove from heat.

4- Add pepper, salt, cummin, crushed walnuts, currants and choped parsley. Mix.

5- In a large bowl, combine the remainder of meat with the bulgur. Add cayenne pepper and egg. Mix and knead well.
6- Take a large walnut sized piece of mixture and roll into a ball. With index finger, make a hole and push the inside, making a large cavity. Stuff the cavity with the meat mixture,press hole with fingers to close. Lightly press meatball in palm of hand to shape like an egg.
7- Repeat procedure, making as many meatballs as possible.
8- Add meatballs to salted boiling water and boil for 5 minutes. Remove and drain on absorbent paper.
9- Heat oil in frypan and lightly fry meatballs until golden brown. Drain and serve.

Red Lentil Soup With Lemon

3 tablespoons olive oil, more for drizzling

1 large onion, chopped

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 tablespoon tomato paste

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt, more to taste

1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

Pinch of ground chili powder or cayenne, more to taste

1 quart chicken or vegetable broth

1 cup red lentils

1 large carrot, peeled and diced

Juice of 1/2 lemon, more to taste

3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro.

1. In a large pot, heat 3 tablespoons oil over high heat until hot and shimmering. Add onion and garlic, and sauté until golden, about 4 minutes.

2. Stir in tomato paste, cumin, salt, black pepper and chili powder or cayenne, and sauté for 2 minutes longer.

3. Add broth, 2 cups water, lentils and carrot. Bring to a simmer, then partially cover pot and turn heat to medium-low. Simmer until lentils are soft, about 30 minutes. Taste and add salt if necessary.

4. Using an immersion or regular blender or a food processor, purée half the soup then add it back to pot. Soup should be somewhat chunky.

5. Reheat soup if necessary, then stir in lemon juice and cilantro. Serve soup drizzled with good olive oil and dusted lightly with chili powder if desired.

Yield: 4 servings.

Say no to child porn

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 11:31:07 GMT

I got a forward mail today. It was saying "Say no to child porn". Candles, candles, touching words, candles again and some children pictures, candles, touching words, candles again a child picture, candles, touching words... and so on. The thing that I wanted to say is, the children pictures were heavenly but they were naked. Their nipples were painted with a different pains. They were crying, yes, but there was something wrong. There is a saying; if you banned a food, why you garnished it with pickles... I don't know who painted these pictures but I would like to ask a question. Is he saying "no" to child porn too?..

I censored the pictures before sharing with you.

A Friday shopping!

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:27:52 GMT

Finally I went out and had some shopping. As you see in the picture, I got a nice shopping bag. After shopping, I took that picture outside. Moon anyway. Now I am a little tired and...

Have a nice weekend.

ps; When some people sent pm as feedback to my comments, I don't feel good. Actually there was a nice post in my mind for this. But that pm made me a little nervous. What a rudeness is that. And yes, "some" people are really rude here. When I have time, I am visiting some spaces and leaving some comments on guess books and blogs. (I usually reply the comments, if they are not double messages or if they are just well-meaning... And I remove some stupid comments too, sorry.) But no feedback, at least no thank. Even if you don't enjoy my posts, you may still visit my space and just thank. There is no school for courtesy. Where did you get that "good" manners?

I was deceived! I am sick! Where are my happy days, I am getting old. Lol.

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 12:11:25 GMT

Yes, I am done!.. All I wanted to cook a very delicious fried eggs with spinach roots. I got my cleaned spinach roots and put into the refrigerator for that. It was the only spinach roots packet on the shelf and I thought I was lucky. A few days later, I went in to the kitchen with joy. I chopped a big onion first and took out of the refrigerator my spinach roots. But, oh God, oh God!! My spinach roots had moldered! In a few days??? No way! Then I looked at the sticker, there was no date note on it. Actually, it was existed. I cleared of the firm name before post the picture here but it was not nice and I will talk about it with that market custodian, after I healed. Because my lumbar vertebra hurts badly for one or two weeks. I had some waist troubles before too, but this one ran long and I am afraid I have to learn to live together with that from now on... Anyways, I had some chopped onions already, so I fried it with olive oil and butter (yes, sometimes I mix them), then added eggs and some spices, that was okay. With a little cheese, and a tomato salad, I forgat the spinach roots. Lol.

And an other day... I always keep some prepared food stuffs (patties, pies anyway) in the deep freezer. I took out one of them and stirred the oil. But oh God, oh God, not again!! There were so many pies in the packet usually, but now, the packet was the same but the numbers of the pies had became less! The plate in the picture used to fill with pies, however, the pies took place easily at the middle of the plate now as you see... Same with the macaroni packets too. I used to divide into two before, and cook just two times macaroni with one packet. By the way, my saucepan is the same for 20 years.

The other story: If you look at my previous entries, you will see a shopping entry there. That red slipper was looking good for some cold winter days and it was the only 40 number slipper on the shelf either. I wore it recently and half an hour after, my foot vessels began to throb. Oh God, oh God!! My fingers are at easy though but the mouth of the slipper was so tight and my circulation had failed. Now I will change it when I could go out. Lol.

Yes, I was deceived! I am sick! Where are my happy days, I am getting older... But the life is going on as always. And as always, I am doing what I have to do. So, I was sick but I worked, I could help to a friend about some psychological tests either, between all these things. Between all these things, I tried to phase down my cigarette numbers that I smoked in a day. It was about one packet, maybe sometimes one and half packet in a day, now I smoke just 10-15 cigarettes all day long. I am counting carefully, yes... At this moment, I am looking out, it is a sunny day. The weather is damn good but I can't go out even for a shopping. The refrigerator is almost done, hope I don't begin to eat the leather sofa in the end. Lol.

By the way, maybe you know, Sarah One Beam helped to correct my English mistakes for a few chapters of my latest novel Seven. She had a surgery recently, so we made a break for a while naturally. Now our roads separated for this novel yesterday but we are still good space friends. Many thanks for spending some time for my novel dear Sarah. If this novel publishes, the second signed book will be yours, because the first one reserved for Prenin. Lol.

Hey, one more thing... but anyways, forget it. Have a nice day to my all space friends!

Today's shopping

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:39:00 GMT

Bread, green pepper, tomato, apple, soft white cheese, tripe, lemon, cake, chocolate, tweezers, toothpaste, slipper. Actually, I couldn't find a slipper which I liked exactly. My size is 40, and this was the only slipper that size. So loud, the pattern is not symmetrical but okay, it is a good one for winter days. As for the tripe. It will be a great tripe soup. Yes it is wild but so delicious and healty. I like to eat some wildy things sometimes, lol. You know, I didn't get cold for almost 5 years. I don't know, if you like that soup's recipe, I can post it when I cooked.

Actually, I went out just to buy a bread. Because the religious holiday is beginning here tomorrow and I think everywhere will be close to buy something. So the supermarket was very crowded. Families, families, families, children, children, children. And how come some guys who are together with his wives and children, are looking at a woman (me) flirty? B*stards! You have a family, your kids are beside you, your wife also. It is weird, women are aware of it, but ignoring their husbands' f*ckin lookings. Hah, the money is with him. What is you are now. You are b*stard too!.. I made face and tried to make my shopping soon.

A space friend sent a pm and said that he couldn't post a comment to my previous entry. As he said, he tried twice. Oh please, how I can have a good motivation then. Anyhow it is a classic novel, people ran to some "soup opera" things for years. A classic novel needs some different care. But okay, this is a mission for me and I will try to post some "soap opera" things too as always... not to bore you.

This summer too, is over...

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 12:47:32 GMT

We all love long summer days. We can do so many things all day long and enjoy the life. Let's see, how was my summer:

1) I planed to go to an island in the Marmara Sea and stay in a pension a few days but I always put back it and finally, it is Autumn now. I will not plan anything like this anymore.

2) My internet experiment went on with so many stranglehold of restrictions. I couldn't watch so many videos (You Tube and some others) and so many sites. When I clicked on those links, I saw a "red" banned note. I felt so discouraged each time. I think about 1000 site is banned here now.

3) When I couldn't log in or had some internet connection troubles, I thought that maybe it is because of revolution, military coup anyway. But I think The Army can't bring about a revolution in this country anymore. I wonder, what is next? If it happens, that will be about 4th disorder in my life.

4) When I couldn't log in, I arranged my picture files. But I couldn't decide about some of them sometimes; were they funny or tragic, absurd or real... What a crazy world this is...

5) I said "Am I crazy anyway?" a few times.

6) I sweared at the water seller one time. (Just one time, I am still a good girl.)

7) TV was suck! I only watch Cnbc-e, it was so suck! There was a series named Dexter, it was discusting!.. I learnt the faces of CNN announcers...

8) There was so many horrible and discusting murders on the newspapers.

9) I heard police sirens and religious songs (Moslem call to prayer) mostly. To listen those relicious calles with microphone five times in a day and night was so disturbing.

10) A neighbour in the building listened some authentic musics all nights long. From midnight to the morning, yes. I go to bed in the midnight, and sometimes I hated to go to the bed. Just a few nights I didn't hear that noisy, but still I couldn't feel good about that. Now I wonder when will he give up to listen to a music in the nights...

11) The most important part of my life was my latest novel Seven.

12) I felt old... finally. But my face and hands don't say like that still. Maybe the next summer, oh my.

13) I think I should add humor to my life as soon as I can in this winter. Because everything is so boring...

Autumn Magic

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 10:52:31 GMT

Natureluv

It is Autumn. I am overcome by sadness.....

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 06:53:59 GMT

Good morning. I slept well last night though, but awoke with a great! sadness in an early hour. It was rainy. The city was silent. Some bad things came to my mind and I had some tears. I drunk a glass of water and slept again... After a few hours, I woke up again. I was still sad but not too bad. It is still rainy and cold. I looked at the window for a while. The sun is trying to show itself... Bruce Springsteen is on tha radio. If rain stops, I will have shopping today. I don't know, maybe I clean the house too, if I have an enough energy.

Maybe you know, Sarah One Beam is trying to correct my English mistakes on my latest novel Seven. She is a darling friend. But she has a surgery tomorrow and my all prayers for her. I am sure she will be in good hands.

Get well soon Sarah! Seven will wait for you to grow up...

Do you want to live long?..

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 17:26:09 GMT

When a friend sneezed, I say "Live good!", not "Live long!". A long life with troubles is not a good thing in my opinion. What do you think about that? But if you are living a good life already, I may say "Live long!" Maybe... I donno, lol... I read an article about the ways of long living recently. The article didn't say "Don't use elevator, just ascend the stair!!!!!!" or, "Don't sleep too much, turn out, yes hurry up and do exercises... continuous!!!!!!" So, I though maybe I can share with you:

1. Listen to classic music. Beethoven lets rest your hearth and soul, your blood pressure is balanced and you feel relieved. (For me, rock music is okay. I like my heart beats.)

2. Dance!.. Some dances like Salsa give happiness and also they cause to spend the calorie. (Why Salsa, lol... Dance with Rock music is always great!)

3. Sun bath 15 minutes in a day. If your Vitamin D is poor, you are under risk for diabetes and depression.

4. Have sex. A regular sex life lowers your cholesterol level and manages your blood pressure. Besides it helps to increase the secretory of the endorphine hormones. To have sex, you prefer the morning hours. Because your blood sugar is low in this hours and so your body turns over the fat to the energy faster.

5. Smile always. (Why, am I stupid, lol.) If you laugh or smile 15 minutes in a day, you may add 8 years to your life.

6. Eat tomato. One portion tomato in a day, lessens % 30 of the heart attack risk. (Yes, great, I like tomato.)

7. Foods with roots are healty. For examble, red beet drops your cholesterol, carrot is good for your eyes.

8. Sleep regularly. The researches show that people who sleep 6 or 7 hours in a day, live long.

9. Donate blood regularly. Some scientists say that if you donate blood, you can saved from over Fe which accumulated in your blood. The over iron bores the heart attack. (No way! I never give my blood and I don't take blood also.)

10. Be attached to your family. The family ties create a positive psychological impact. You depart from some troubles like alcoholism, heart attack and blood pressure disorders. (Ahhh... Sigh.)

11. Marriage is good. Married men are living more for three years according to the papers. (What about women?..)

12. Don't listen to everybody always. The one who important is you. It is not a problem what they said. If you want to live long, don't pay attention to everybody always... (Yes, I always did like that.)

13. Do your housework by yourself. Be fit. To be phlegmatic is not healty. (Yes, absolutely.)

14. Always learn something new in your whole life. This keeps your brain healty and raises your living energy. (Yes, like me.)

15. Keep an animal. Keeping an animal, lowers your blood pressure. (I kept so many animals but to have pets is not easy to me anymore. Animals need more taking care of them like men. So, now I am just having plants, yes..... lol.)

16. Eat chocolate. People who eat chocolate live long more than the people who eat sugar. Chocolate contains polifenol and this chemical gives happiness and also it saves from heart attack and cancer. (Hımmm... Okay... I have already a little chocolate every day.)

17. Enjoy your life! If you like shopping, do some shopping, or if you like dance, dance. Positive energy extends the life... (Ahahah!!!)

There was some other items too, but ding dong ding dong, there are so many e mails from Sarah. I think she sent some corrections about Seven again. Hope she doesn't shake her fingers with words now, lol... I love you Sarah, thank you!.. I am soooo lucky to meet her in this MSN space atmosphere. And she is really an amazing woman. She has a surgery on September 22 but still working on my chapters in a hurry. Ahhh, I am a lazy and bad student......

Anyways, let's dance! Come on everybody, all people in the world!!

Thank you Nar.
Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

CRACK!

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 11:33:18 GMT

I discovered a nice garden restaurant around yesterday. After shopping, I put the things to my home and went out again. By the way, I couldn't find the dark blue eyed boy that I mentioned before while shopping. So I back home my tongue out this time. I am an old girl dear, haha, it is not easy to carry heavy things anymore. Anyways.

You will see -if you can- some little lemons on the right tree on the left picture. They were beautiful. Green and very little. I think the left one was a walnut tree. Can you feel the Autumn with the leafs? Maybe not yet exactly. But it is soon. Well okay, we have some time for sunny days still.

There was nobody but a young woman at the garden first. She was looking so depresif. I smiled after taking my place, she was unwiling to smile back. I asked, "Are you okay?" She replied "I feel cold." There was two cell phones on her table and her eyes were on them always.

I asker for a glass of tea but the waiter said that there was no tea service. I said "Okay, may I have a glass of ice cold beer?" Lol... of course not. It is ramadan and some people who drink alcohol are living some bad things as I read on the news. I am alone and I don't want to have a bad experience about it. So I gave my "innocent" order and began to wait. Sometime I went to their kitchen and met the cook. It was a clean kitchen and the cook was an old maid. I back to the garden and took some pictures about the trees. My kebab came first, it was so delicious. I ordered some other things. Green salad and buttermilk (A drink made of yogurt and water) were great too.

While I am eating, a young man came and ordered some same things with me. He never looked at me and played with his cell phone while waiting his food. After smoked, I ordered some pasty, because I was still hungry. It was great too. Then I asked my bill. It was great too, ooopps, they tried to swindle me but I didn't buy it, lol. So I didn't leave tip...

I came home and while drinking something, watched TV a little. But weird, I was still feeling hungry. So, I made a delicious Tuna fish sandwich for myself, then I was still hungry, so prepared a plate again... Some salty biscuits, cheese and green grapes. They were delicious but I was still... Yes!.. So I spent some time with computer and went to bed early.

I woke up with a nice! headache this morning. But I wasn't feeling hungry anymore. So I just ate some hazelnuts and drunk tea for my breakfast, as you will see on the right picture. That hazelnuts are a forward crop, so cheaper. I had an aspirin finally and read some internet news. They were nice! as always: "Obama's sex video..." CRACK! By the way, I think it is a virus attack, so don't open that link if you get an mail like that... "No access for Richard Dawkins in this area anymore..." Let's see: “http://richarddawkins.net/” No... No access... CRACK! I am afraid I will never be able to have a healty freedom in internet. CRACK! "The high-speed train disaster in Los Angeles..." Sad... Everything is too fast in this world anymore. CRACK! "Some people were beaten because they bought alcohol in ramadan." CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

Have a good weekend all. xxxxx

Seven years ago, today...

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:05:49 GMT

www.pepepiedra.com

All religions say: DO NOT KILL...

With God's name...

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:35:55 GMT

The left picture is from "My whole life" photo album. I just had begun to write and there was some difficulties in my life... The social environment had accepted me in commonwealth of letters though, I was getting some prizes but I was feeling that like I fell into a trap in my personal life. So I got my only a few things and moved to this room. Actually, it was a few square meters kitchen in a ground floor... I was too young as in the picture. I was loving to go to Bodrum in every chance. I had gotton that watercolour from a Bodrum painter and it was with me for years. And also that glass blowing. A man who had tied a woman... Lol.

This room was a real shelter for me. I was writing without stop. Besides, I wasn't able to catch the speed of my thougts so many times, I wasn't able to stop my thoughts either, so, I had cried one day because of that. Really. It was just like a magic and I liked that magic. I had a typewriter and I still keep that. I wrote my books first with it. Some children used to play outside and when they saw me while I am working, used to come near the window and talk to me. They were my best friends that times... Not sometimes, I used to get some prizes frequently and I used to make a break just then, begin to drink, go to get my prize while I drink, get my prize while I drink and back to my "kitchen" while I drink. I used to sleep about 24 hours and begin to write again. Sometimes my mother used to come there and leave some foods for me. I remember, she used to talk to me as a stranger.

Then I bought a computer. It was an IBM and I still keep that too... I wrote my first novel with that computer. I had divorced and needed some money immediately. When I put the last line -the end is a great sentence-, I called my publisher. We had an agreement, I had to give all my writings to them for all my life. But their reply was negative. I said "Why?" He said "None of publishers can publish that book. I said okay and called another big publisher after I just shut off. He said "Okay, I will send you a courier, give him your file; we will begin to publish it tonight." I said "Wow, so you don't even read it?" He said "We know what you can write..." So, I was signing my first novel in a book fair about one or two weeks after. But that publishing house was closed just after my book. Still, my first novel is sold on internet but no auther fee for me. Actually my books are still selling on the markets but no auther fee for me and this is one of the weirdo things in my life.

My second novel is "7". I began to write it about 16 years ago with God's name. I did some name and place diagrams first and my thoughts were running too fast again. But the badness was too fast too. I was always between moving (in every a few years), divorce (thanks God, just one time), separateness, betrayal and deception (so many times)..... Now I am not young. And I just want to finish this novel with God's name again. If I were a man, I had so many conveniences as a writer like this. If I had a penis, I would curl a pearl necklace around it and all publishers would line up. Lol. I am kidding. Besides, I don't like pearl necklaces... Anyways, all I wanted to say, I think this novel will be my last book. So be kind for it.

I had some angels in this translation workings. The first one was Robin. I think she is in New York for her job WickyAnswers now. Then John son of Eifion helped me for one entry. I have an angel nowadays. She is killing me off, lol... Sarah Tilson is just like a rocky editor. I will add an other entry about her working on my novel. Thanks a lot, I am very happy for all these wonderful people.

Hope your life is not o dark tunnel. Enjoy...

Copyrighted by Zeynep Ankara

Can a blonde save the world?..

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:21:07 GMT

Leave just one answer in your comments. No polemic, no arguing or an other thing. My answer is "Why not..." When I saw Karlayu's blog title, I immediately invited her as an explore friend. You know I am always hopeless about all these world stuffs and I am really open, -seriously open- to any new idea and Karlayu's space title enthused me.

Okay maybe you may add your opinions too. Why a blonde can save the world, or why a blonde can't save the world?

Let's go!!.. And say hello to my new friend KARLAYU too please. Hugz.

My "Moi Moi"

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 05:58:43 GMT

A. Attached or single? | None of them. I am not interested also... anymore, lol, too much heartbreakers, sniff.
B. Best friend? | I have not a best friend. I just have some friends.
C. Cake or pie? | Both of them.
D. Day of choice? | Sunday.
E. Essential item? | Computer.
F. Favorite color? | Black and white... and purple.
G. Gummy bears or worms? | ? (Can you explain me this please?) (Thank you Susan...) (Both of them.)
H. Hometown? | Ankara.
I. Indulgence? | Chocolate but not over dose, lol...

J. January or July? | July.
K. Kids? | My friend's kids.
L. Life isn’t complete without? | Writing.
M. Marriage date? | I forgat it. And I forgat divorce date too, lol. I don't want to remember anything about that marriage.
N. Number of brothers & sisters? | I am an only child.
O. Oranges or apples? | Apples.
P. Phobias? | Rudeness, rude and jealous people.
Q. Quotes? | There are two quotes on my second book (Terk Edilmiş Sokakta Sessiz Bir Gölge Oyunu / A voiceless Shadow Play at Leaved Street - novel-)'s introductory chapter. Maybe I can give one of them: "We have geneva, trad and casques; we have houses, we have the Great Wall of China. We have all. There are all of them. But because of fear. Against the fear." Wolfgang Borchert (Hope I could translate it well. Maybe Kyle will correct this.)

R. Reasons to smile? | Some expressions of animals.
S. Season of choice? | Spring.
T. Tag seven peeps! | Mickey, Martin, John Son of Eifion, Pep, Robin, brent, Sue Mac Arthur. I don't count Stephen Craig Rowe, because he is one of dinosaurs here, haha! Some people are always Number 1 and without category.
U. Unknown fact about me? | If I wanted you to know that I would tell you, wouldn't I? As Elizabeth...
V. Vegetable? | Fresh spinach.
W. Worst habits? | I am a smoker.
X. X-ray or ultrasound? | None of them.
Y. Your favorite food? | Chicken with everything.
Z. Zodiac sign? | Cancer.

NOW IT IS YOUR TURN :)

Thank you Elizabeth!!

The dark blue eyed boy...

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 09:55:44 GMT

- Can I carry your packages ma'am...

- No, thanks.

- I can carry very cheap...

I just would say "I said no", but when I looked at the boy's face, saw his beautiful dark blue eyes. He was dark skinned, very dark and thin. Probably from South East Anatolia but talking the language fluently, without accent.. His handcart was very poor. He was maybe 13-14 years old. I said:

- What cheap? How much?

- 5 liras.

- No way, I will give you 3 liras.

- Okay ma'am.

Then I did shopping like a crazy. I had gone to that shopping just for dried fruits though. Dried fruits are cheaper in the market... But I got apple, damson, peach, green pepper, tomato, so many, so many things by barrels, lol... While shopping, he stowed the things carefully, he knew what to do, the craggy ones at the bottom, the other ones at the top. I was picking some fruits and vegetables, paying, the boy was taking the things right away. When I vacillated between two things, he was playing a game in his opinion. I was looking at the right side to see him, but he was on the left side. When I looked at the left side first, then he was on the right side, lol... I said:

- What are you trying to do, lol...

He smiled and we went on to the shopping. I hardly stopped the shopping and said:

- That is enough, let's go...

While we are walking to my house, I asked:

- Are you hungry?

- No, thanks...

- Where are you living?

- Far away.

- How will you go to your house?

- By bus.

He was very polite while asking to open the road:

- Pardon... Pardon...

I didn't ask was he going to a school or not. Maybe I didn't want to hear a "no" there. Sometime, I got some ice cream for him. He didn't want to accept first but when I insisted, took it... It was a very easy shopping for me, because I didn't go back home my tongue out, lol. I asked:

- How can I find you again, when I want to go shopping?

- I am always about here ma'am.

- What about here?

- About here...

I gave him 5 liras and he went. While I fix the refrigerator, I saw that I had gotten so many things, so it was too difficult to placed all of them. Hope that delicious things don't molder.

Have a great weekend to all my old and new explore friends!!

"Stones and Wave"

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 10:18:01 GMT

"Stones and Wave" / Photograph: Sarah Tilson

(Lake Pend Oreille, in northern Idaho State, USA)

When I saw this picture on Sarah's latest photo album, I was overcome with admiration. She had taken this beautiful pisture in her last holiday. I sent her a pm and asked if I can use it one of my entries or not. She replied kindly and gave permission. As you see, I put her words in quotation marks also. It is netiquette...

I had a crisis one of my ex-space friends recently. She had left a comment to one of my posts (Asymmetric thoughts about lie) and said that she borrowed a sentence of me anyway... I looked at her space and saw that she added an entry and thanked to Zeynep. Firstable, yes I am Zeynep as your friend but if you are mentioning about me as an author, I am Zeynep Ankara. I sent a pm and said: "So you didn't wait my permission, what can I say now, please add my last name at least, it is an author." She apologized and added my last name too. Then I realised that she didn't put my words in quotation marks. I asked for it too with a pm. She replied soon and said "(...) I thought you'd be pleased at my tribute to you; obviously I was wrong." Then she removed my name and words from her post. I sent a pm for it and said: "It is better, thank you." The next morning, I saw that she removed me from her friends list.

Life goes on with its ups and downs or ebbs and tides on spaces too (Thank you Martin).

Thank you again Sarah Tilson for this beautiful picture.

Last weekend...

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:11:47 GMT

Last Saturday I had no motivation for anything. I wanted to translate a chapter from my latest novel 7 but I couldn't. Maybe I should watch TV a little, but no, I couldn't find an enjoyable channel for a weekend. Huh, people are dying in wars man, what are you talking about now, to enjoy?.. I switched the television off and took the left picture.

Then I realised that the white curtains of my TV room got dirty. Maybe I should wash it. Yes, why not... Or maybe I should change it, because sometimes it is not easy to watch TV with that white curtains in sunny days. There was some thick curtains in the large chest which I put some junky things in it... So I rolled up my sleeves. While the curtains are washing, I cleaned the window glasses a little. There was some dusts on my Hera -it is my huge wardrobe fitted with mirrors-, I cleaned them well. Yes, it was a very domestic day! I did the dusting for everything; mirrors, sofa, coffee table, TV desk, TV... Oh, to breath was easier now.

Then I hanged up the curtains, it was not easy though but I made it... By the way, I ate a half jar of chocolate cream and felt happy like a cat, lol. Then I had a shower to watch TV in my spanking clean room, as you see the right picture. That small black table is my everything, lol, with its all junky things on it. You will see a small jar which has a green cover there. It is my roasted chickpeas jar and when I feel hungry disorderly, I eat a little roasted chickpeas. They don't cause me to get fat like the other dry fruits and I like its taste. I mix white and yellow roasted chickpeas, the yellow once are a little salty.

I have some candles under the TV table. Especially in winter days, I like candles... On the other hand, as you see the chandelier, I use economic light bulbs. A friend of mine had given that chandelier years ago. There are millions of seashells on it.

Saturday night I slept like a seal. The Sunday morning my entire body was in pain till my hair ground. While I am having my usual breakfast, the cell phone rang. I said even if my father dies, I will not look at it and I never felt guilty about that.The telephone rang for a long time, then stopped. After the breakfast, it rang again, this one The Killer (My landlord. He is a wet). He said that he can stop by to take the payment of rental. I said okay and went on my day. But pain was really awful and I took a pain killer with the aspirin. I hate to take pill for pain but okay, I had to do it.

In the afternoon, my landlord came. We talked a little at the door. The crisis between us about the leaking was looking over. He said "Why you didn't call for the whitewash?" The leaking was f*cked up the walls. I said "Thank you but I can live with that. I don't want to have a plus trouble with workers, no more stress." He said "We can fix it if you like." I said "No, after the whitewash, the living room needs a good clean up. I just cleaned the curtains of the TV room and now I am fighting with pain." He said "Why you don't call some cleaning companies?" I said "No, I don't want plus trouble -again-, I can do my homework." He said "Okay then, if you need some shopping now, I can do it for you." Wow... I thanked and paid for the rental, we talked this and that a little more and he went.

Well, now I am watching TV in my spanking clean TV room. I am looking at the Hera's mirrors to see myself sometimes. Mirrors anyway, this is absolutely a narcissist woman guys, watch for yourself...

2000 civilian population died in 48 hours in Russia-Georgia conflict...

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 07:06:53 GMT

... and the war is still going on.